Scarbrough Fair: 12 Months Old

Dear Lane,

Yesterday you turned one year old. 12 months. 365 days.

Wow.

Honestly, I cried a lot yesterday. I love you and am so proud of every milestone you reach. I love watching you master new things, like when you learned how to stack the rings on the pole of your Rock-n-Stack this month. But a small part of me is so, so sad. I asked your daddy what was wrong with me, why was I so sad that you were now one? He answered me this: "It's because if the next 17 years go as fast as this past year did, it'll seem like it's tomorrow when she's gone." Or something along those lines. But sweetie, it's true. This past year has gone so quickly. I can remember when you couldn't fall asleep outside of my arms like it was yesterday. Now I secretly hope that you're not feeling well so I have an excuse to hold you in my arms until you drift off to dreamland. I don't remember the moments immediately following your birth with extreme clarity, but I do remember the following days and weeks.

Someone once told me to cherish those early months with you. Even when I was sleep-deprived and hadn't taken a shower and had changed my clothes four times that day because you'd spit up all over me, my constant reminder to myself was that soon enough you'd be grown. You wouldn't want to eat every 2-3 hours for the rest of your life. You'd fall asleep on your own one day. So as I nursed you throughout the night, as I sung to you while you were fussy, or as I held you after a round of shots, I'd tell myself, "I'll never get this moment back."

And now I have no regrets. Yes, it makes me a little bit sad that you don't need me for as many things anymore. It hurts just a tad that you don't love to snuggle in my arms for hours on end anymore. But overall, I'm just grateful to God for giving you to us for one whole year. I pray that he will give us many more years together.

In the past month you've learned how to do some amazing things. You can drink out of a regular cup now. Of course you still spill a lot, but you can grab the cup, get it to your mouth, and take a drink. And you do better with it than you do with a sippy cup. You can get a fork of food to your mouth as well, and you know that food goes on a fork or spoon and will put food onto the fork or spoon and then try to get it to your mouth. You still love to eat and haven't yet met a food you didn't like (well, except for maybe your birthday cake. You didn't seem to like it too much!). You're only nursing twice a day now, and you're down to one nap a day. You can stack blocks on top of each other, getting up to a tower of three. You're pretty good at walking on hills, you can full-on run, and you can climb stairs if you're holding onto someone's hand or a rail. You've even pulled yourself up into the refrigerator.

You still love peek-a-boo, and you like to hide behind a wall, curtain, blanket, or piece of furniture and then pop out when we ask, "Where's Lane?" You still love to be outside and love to finger rocks and pebbles and sticks. You don't even put them in your mouth very much anymore. You freely give us kisses and love to sit in our laps for a story, and you'll turn around and squat down to sit in our laps. You still love to be naked...you are hilarious when you're naked. Speaking of naked, you can take your diaper off already. It's a good thing you don't know how to take your clothes off yet! When mommy says, "Arms up!" for taking off your shirt you oblige, holding up your arms. You'll also throw your arms up in the air when you're really excited. It's super cute. When we ask you where your teeth are (all five of them...you got yet another one this month!) you'll chomp them together, and when we ask you where your tongue is you'll stick it out at us. We're still working on other body parts. You've got some objects in books down pat, though, like the pig or kitty or milk in one of your books...you know exactly what to point to.

You are so smart, Lane. You're so sweet. You shower us with affection and smiles and make us think that there is nobody in the world as blessed as we are. We pray for you every day, that you will continue to grow and be healthy and strong, that God would please have chosen you for his kingdom and you would come to know Jesus, and that we would get many, many more years with you. We are grateful for your first year. We want many more. We love you so, so much.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy