Lane: 5 and 2

It occurs to me every now and then that I'm not doing a good job anymore at writing down things my kids are doing. I don't take pictures often (I think that has to do as much with the overcast days and bad lighting as it does with my simply forgetting). I rarely blog anymore. Life is just in a busy season for us right now. But Shannon is out of town and all the girls are in bed and I wanted to take a few minutes to remember a few things, because inevitably I will forget them if I don't write them down. Today is for Lane...I'll try for Noel in a few days.


Lane,

Girl, you remind me of myself. You are so stubborn and strong-willed. Still. You're manipulative and you've entered a "sassy" stage and you end up with a drop of vinegar on your tongue quite frequently these days. You want what you want and get a bad attitude if you don't get it. But we're working on that attitude and I have to say it's a welcome change from the 2-3 years of strong-willed disobedience that you gave us. You have grown and matured a lot in the past three years and it's given me hope that we actually can help mold you into a woman who is passionate and strong-willed, but who doesn't rebel against authority. I'm constantly reminding myself that God gave you your personality and that it's not a bad thing for you to be the way you are; but it's our job to teach you when it's ok to push back and when you need to listen and obey.



You love art. Our table is constantly covered in paper, coloring books, markers and colored pencils, stencils, sticker books, how-to-draw books, watercolors and paintbrushes, and so on. Most of the time we've given up on putting everything up at mealtime and just kind of pick up whatever can be easily contained and shove the rest aside. You love to do crafts, anything with glue and stickers. Last week you used the rest of our popsicle sticks and some glue and foam hearts and Hello Kitty bead things and had fun gluing it all together. You are starting to show a little more detail in your drawings, giving people clothes or shoes sometimes, giving elephants nostrils, stuff like that.



You are learning how to read. We started reading some BOB books a few months ago (maybe November?) and you have gradually picked up on basic concepts of reading. You know a lot of basic sight words now and can sound out words if I help you by covering up extra letters and helping you work through the word a couple of letters at a time. You can write all letters in uppercase and some in lowercase, although you never actually want to write them in lowercase (because it's harder).


Playing with Raye.

You are very...active. Borderline hyper, I think. Or maybe you're just a five-year old who's been cooped up inside most of the winter and are itching to run and jump and climb. Yeah, that's probably it. But seriously, you are not content to sit still unless it's for art. Even when I'm reading to you or you're trying to read to me most often you're wiggling yourself into an upside-down position on the couch, bouncing your legs, or so on. Your favorite things to play seem to center around two themes: princesses and kittens. You often combine the two. And you'll play other things, too, but these are your favorites.


In one of your favorite "princess" dresses. This is your "Jasmine" dress.

I'm so proud of what a good eater you've become. We've worked very hard with you over the last three years to make you into a not picky child (when it comes to food). And now you like things that you used to hate (most raw vegetables, cooked tomatoes, cooked meat, actually any meat, really...). You finish your food, usually without complaining. If it's something new that you don't really like you might say that you don't like it, but usually you'll eat without a big fuss. And you feed yourself all of your meals most of the time which was not the case even just this time last year. Your favorite food is still spaghetti. You also really like plums and pomegranates, noodles with just butter and parmesan, pizza, and chicken noodle soup, and you love cheese.


Practicing with a butter knife.

You're a good big sister and are a good helper. You like to help me in the kitchen by "washing" the dishes and "cleaning" the sink. You are pretty good at cleaning the windows with a spray bottle of water and a washcloth. You've recently started vacuuming and you enjoy that. You can help me hang up washcloths and towels to dry. You're very capable now at putting on all of your clothes (you might need help with small buttons), brushing your teeth, and taking care of bathroom business all on your own. You love to make Raye laugh and you enjoy playing with Noel, although you do still really want to be the boss and don't like it when you can't always be the boss. But you also frequently make concessions to let Noel have what she wants, or play what she wants, and we like seeing that your heart is sometimes softened to what others want, as usually you're pretty self-consumed. And that's why you need Jesus.



Lane, I love you so much. It is such a joy to see how much you've grown in the past few years and to see your personality shine through. You love us and seem to thrive on attention. You like to be in the driver's seat, to be in charge, and you like to run ahead of the crowd. I'm so excited to see how you grow and change over the next few years, to see what kind of young woman you become. I pray that you love Jesus with all your heart and that you take the strong personality he's given you to be passionate for him. I love you and am so happy to be your mom.

-Mama

Lane: 3 til 5

Wow, it's been a long time since I wrote a post about my oldest and what a hilarious hoot she is. So lest I forget...



Lane,

You, my dear, are hilarious. About a month ago some friends brought by some dress-up clothes that their daughters have long since outgrown. You wear them every day. Seriously, the amount of laundry that I have to wash has been drastically reduced because you usually don't wear real clothes. Just a dress, some tights, a tiara, bracelets, rings, and necklaces, and of course princess shoes. All matching, which to you means they are the same color. You pretend to be a princess, a princess kitten, a princess elephant, and so on. But always a princess.



Speaking of matching, you love for things to match right now. Which pretty much means that you want them to be the same color. You do not like it when I tell you that you can't wear pink pants, pink socks, and a pink shirt all at the same time, because, "But mommy, I want to match!" [insert extremely whiney voice here.]


You thought you looked so awesome with the hat, headband, and sunglasses. You also had a bow tying your two braids together in the front at one point...

Your vocabulary and understanding of how English works is, umm, funny. For example, you keep asking me if things "matter." Like, "Do these socks matter?" I don't know how to explain to you what exactly it means when I say, "It doesn't matter" about your socks... And today you were asking about the cost of things...I was explaining to you that my wedding ring(s) is expensive and that you couldn't play with it. You asked what expensive meant and I said that it cost a lot of money. So then you asked if the iPad cost. Umm, yes, it cost a lot, but my ring(s) cost more. What about the couch? Did it cost? You're so funny.


You still love bugs and frogs.

You love to do crafts. Love, love, love them. We've done three in the past few days and you are in hog heaven. Today you made an owl and the other day we did fingerprint trees. Your tree looks better than mine. You're four. I'm 34. Not fair. Your love for school stuff has dropped off...you still like to do it but I think you only like the easy things...you don't like it when I actually make you work to do something correctly, or to follow the lines more precisely, and so on. So we're taking a break until I get my wherewithal and get us into somewhat of a preschool routine. Until then, you know everything you need to know in order to start kindergarten next year.


Your artistic skills continue to grow. This was in April just three months after you turned 4.

You have turned into a great big sister, Lane. Just a little over a year ago you still did not like Noel. We'd ask you if you were glad to have a sister and you'd always answer, "No." But now you two are like peas in a pod. Granted, you fight a lot, too, but you have so much fun together. You're partners in crime, thick as thieves. You're best buddies. And it makes me so glad that you have each other. And in about 1.5-2 years Raye'll be in on the action, too. You and Noel thoroughly enjoy each other and you play well together. You argue like all siblings do, but overall...I'm so, so happy with how you love each other.



You're also getting a lot better at listening and obeying and we do not have to discipline you nearly as much as we used to. You do still get spankings (usually for just pushing it too far...taking our grace at bedtime, for example, too far and refusing to be quiet and instead asking for twenty million things as we're closing the door) but generally you are obedient (maybe reluctantly) and helpful. You like to tell me, "You're my best mommy." And you lavish the love on us in the mornings...saying that you've saved some snuggles for the other parent.



Lane, you're a sweetheart. You love to color and paint and run and climb, to watch TV or play the iPad (we never let you do these things as often as you want!), and to "tie" things. You love a challenge but cry easily when you're embarrassed over doing something wrong. You get upset easily over things that are frustrating you but conquer new things (zippers, buckles, etc.) regularly. You're doing things now that just a few months ago you balked at (brushing your own teeth, always putting on your own clothes, always feeding yourself). You try new foods (once again, maybe reluctantly, but willingly) and eat what you are given, usually without much complaint. You're fully in size 5T clothes and I think you're approaching 40 pounds. You love to help me in the kitchen. You love to coo at Raye and make her laugh. You love to dance, although I think you inherited your daddy's skills in that department and not mine, sadly. You're a pleasure now more than a pain and I'm so thankful for the girl you are and are becoming.

I love you,
Mommy

Lane: 3 and 3

Dear Lane,

I'm so, so sorry that I haven't written you a real letter in nine months! Talk about a slacker mommy! I've kept thinking about how I want to write down all the cute things you're doing these days, and I just kept not doing it. So here I am, better late than never, writing it all down for you.

The past months have been rough, girlie, I won't lie to you. You are a stubborn, strong-willed little girl. You want what you want and do not want anyone to tell you what to do. You will scream and fight and pitch a huge tantrum over the smallest thing. We usually put you on your bed to calm down. In fact, a couple weeks ago I put you on your bed and after you had calmed down and I came to get you, you said, "I just got tired of skweeming." It's almost like you pitch the fit solely for the sake of pitching the fit. You know it won't gain you anything. Anyways, the past months have been full of trying to train you and discipline you and you're slowly getting it. Slowly.

You also are still not sure what you think about having a sister. I watch you have fun with her, but if I ask you if you're glad that you have a sister, you adamantly answer "no." Most of your discipline these days is related to you taking something out of Noel's hands, not sharing with her, pushing her, being too rough with her, being spiteful and mean (hiding a toy from her that you know she wants), and so on. I really, really hope that as you get older, and as Noel gets older and gets disciplined more (and you see that she really does get in trouble, too), that you start to like her more and not see her as such a nuisance.



Let me tell you about all the awesome things you're doing these days. You love to paint. LOVE it, I tell you. You want to paint every day. You want to color, paint, cut, stick stickers, and so on. You love art stuff. You also love to help me cook or bake. You get very upset if I don't let you dump something in the bowl, help stir, and so on. And you get extremely upset if I don't let you lick the beater for some reason or another. You love sugar. It's your love language.

Speaking of sugar, we've recently given you the treat of an ice cream (or something else) if you stay in your bed at bedtime and in the morning until we come to get you. You just didn't seem to care about punishment (a spanking...or ten) for getting out of bed. You needed some motivation to stay in your bed. So, ice cream it is. It's working well for us both. You think you're winning because you get something sweet. I think I'm winning because you'd probably get dessert every day anyways!



Lane, you love to "do school" with me in the afternoons while Noel is napping. We work some activity pages and you love it...tracing, coloring, practicing letters, matching numerals to groups with that many objects, and so on. You also really enjoy being read to, but usually I have to convince you that you want to be read to. You'd rather play, but if I can get you to agree to two or three books, then you'll keep asking for more.

You love for me to snuggle with you at bedtime. We sing a few songs together...these days it's "Sanctuary," "I Love You Lord," "Bless the Lord," "Zaccheus," and the "la la's" (Braham's lullaby, but with no words). You always want me to stay until you fall asleep, but if I do then you wake up all night crying, wondering where I am. It works much better for you to fall asleep on your own. But I love snuggling with you and debriefing your day, asking you what your favorite part was. Of course you always have about five favorite parts. I don't think you understand "favorite" yet.

You love fruit, olives, bread, sweets, yogurt, cheese, nuts, milk, juice, and water. The other day you told me, "Coke is yucky. I like milk, juice, and water. That's what I like." You do not like bell peppers or tomatoes, although I can get you to eat them most of the time if they're cooked. Oh, and onions. You do not like onions and will always pick them out if they're tough at all. Most of the time you're fairly compliant when it comes to food, although you clearly have foods you prefer over others (hello, strawberries!).



Lane, you can write your name without help, count to 29 correctly, are completely potty trained and never have accidents (you've had one in the last six months, and it was at nighttime the day after we moved), You can put your clothes on if we give them to you facing the right direction. You do excellent at tracing letters. You love to color (still with markers, especially), dancing, climbing and swinging and jumping. Currently you love picking dandelions, because, well, there are a gazillion of them around. We've also been having lots of tea parties and picnics, and you like to build a "gate" out of legos to keep all the "fewocious" animals in.

I've thought about it recently, and I love parenting a three-year old. You are so hilarious and sweet, and while you're still selfish and mean and disobedient a lot of the time, at your core you are fun and loving. All the things I don't like about parenting you right now are just the things I don't like about parenthood in general, and most of those are just because I myself am selfish and don't like being inconvenienced. You're a lot of work, sweetie. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love you and am so happy to be your mom.

Love,
Mommy

On Your Third Birthday

I asked you some questions. Here are your answers, completely mostly unprompted:

1. Your favorite color is red.

2. Your favorite toy is Minnie Mouse and Mickey Mouse.

3. Your favorite fruit is bananas.

4. Your favorite tv show is Mickey Mouse.

5. Your favorite movie is Cinderella.

6. Your favorite thing to wear is a shirt (your Minnie Mouse one, we think).

7. Your favorite animal is elephants and chickens and cows.

8. Your favorite song is "I love you, Lord."

9. Your favorite book is The Very Lonely Firefly.

10. Your best friend is Calvin and Mommy and Daddy and Noel.

11. Your favorite snack is cashews.

12. Your favorite drink is milk and water.

13. Your favorite breakfast is pancakes.

14. Your favorite lunch is ham and cheese.

15. Your favorite dinner is soup (this is quite doubtful in our minds).

16. Your favorite game is Blue Dog, Red Dog.

17. Your favorite thing to play outside is chalk.

18. Your favorite holiday is Christmas.

19. At night you sleep with blankie.

20. You want to be free when you grow up.

I'll repeat these questions every year on your birthday and see how they change. Maybe next year you won't have been up half the night puking and delirious by dinnertime when I ask them to you. 

Lane: 2 1/2 Years Old

Dear Lane,

Last week you turned two-and-a-half years old. I still can't believe it. I think I'll be saying that to you for the rest of your life, though, so I better start believing it: you're growing up every day. To look at how much you've changed in the last six months is unbelievable. I think I can officially say that you are not a baby anymore, but you're a little girl.

In the last six months you've gone from speaking no more than a handful of words to speaking full sentences. You say things that I just love, like, "Uhh, no, I not sink so," "hot-doctor" (helicopter), "Dat sounds fun!," "Is funny!," and a slew of others. You call yourself either "Lane" or "you," and sometimes when we try to correct you to say "me," you just say no and repeat yourself. You are a little negotiator and are always telling me that "Mommy says [insert-something-here]" when in reality I said exactly the opposite. You're also a little jokester and have started saying things like that things are different colors than they are or make different sounds than you know they do, just to get us to say, "No it isn't!" and get a big grin out of you. It's so strange to me that you're 100% caught back up verbally for your age, when you were lagging behind for so long. But it sure is fun to hear you speaking and expressing your own opinions and thoughts after you were silent for so long.

In the past six months you've become completely potty-trained (other than night-time). You tell us when you need to go potty, and you can take yourself and do everything yourself if you just need to pee. You do have a knack for wanting to poop almost every time you go potty, though, so we end up keeping you company in the bathroom most of the time. If left it up to you, you would run around buck naked all the time, but we usually make you wear at least underwear, much to your chagrin. You do NOT want to wear those underwear most of the time!

You're a water-bug for sure!

You can do so much for yourself now, like put on your own underwear, wash your own hands, brush your teeth, and take yourself to the potty. You help take out the garbage, put your clothes in the hamper, and clean up toys on a regular basis. You can put a DVD into the player, pour your own milk (with guidance), and set the table. You climb up the slide, climb stairs alternating feet, and are practicing jumping on one foot. You can also draw a straight line and a circle, and you recognize your name. You can count to thirteen, recognize numbers up to ten, all your letters, and sing lots of songs by yourself (Jesus Loves Me, Old MacDonald [still your favorite], This is the Day, ABC Song).

You got to sit on a horse for the first time this month.

You have a very strong personality and want what you want. You do good at following the rules most of the time, and when you don't, I fully believe that you understand what the consequences will be and just don't care. You often say, "You not yisten make mommy daddy sad." You know it makes us sad when you don't obey. Recently you've started pitching huge temper tantrums, most of which result in you being left on your bed to scream until you're over it. I hope these resolve as you gain better control over your emotions.

Most of the time you're very, very sweet. You love to play "kissin' time" where we chase you and smother you with kisses. You love hide-and-seek, coloring (with markers), blowing bubbles, having tea parties, singing Old MacDonald, climbing, Mickey & Minnie Mouse, and eating anything sweet. You love cashews, yogurt, all fruit (although you go through phases as to which is your favorite), and anything in a tortilla. You love Noel and tell me "Noel's gettin' so big. Noel's gunna pway wif you." You're very excited for her to be big enough to actually play with. You like to sing Jesus Loves Me with whoever is putting Noel down for nap/bed, walking back to her "room" with us and singing. You know a lot of Bible stories and can answer questions when prompted about them. And sometimes you echo us when we pray before meals or before bed, concluding with a resounding "Amen!" It makes me happy to hear you talk about God and Jesus.

Splish-splash!

You weigh 28 pounds and are 37 inches tall. You're wearing clothes that range from 18-months to 3T, with a 4T bathing suit thrown in there as well. You're tall (77th percentile) and thin (41st percentile), much like me, I suppose. Your last molar is almost all the way in. Your hair is still curly and unruly. Your personality is developing more and more, and just as I couldn't have imagined the little girl you've grown into in the last 2.5 years, I can't wait to see who you are when you're five, or 15, or even 25 or 30. God has big plans for you, girlie, and I can't wait to see what they are.

I love you so much,

Mommy

12 Months Old

Dear Lane,

Yesterday you turned one year old. 12 months. 365 days.

Wow.

Honestly, I cried a lot yesterday. I love you and am so proud of every milestone you reach. I love watching you master new things, like when you learned how to stack the rings on the pole of your Rock-n-Stack this month. But a small part of me is so, so sad. I asked your daddy what was wrong with me, why was I so sad that you were now one? He answered me this: "It's because if the next 17 years go as fast as this past year did, it'll seem like it's tomorrow when she's gone." Or something along those lines. But sweetie, it's true. This past year has gone so quickly. I can remember when you couldn't fall asleep outside of my arms like it was yesterday. Now I secretly hope that you're not feeling well so I have an excuse to hold you in my arms until you drift off to dreamland. I don't remember the moments immediately following your birth with extreme clarity, but I do remember the following days and weeks.

Someone once told me to cherish those early months with you. Even when I was sleep-deprived and hadn't taken a shower and had changed my clothes four times that day because you'd spit up all over me, my constant reminder to myself was that soon enough you'd be grown. You wouldn't want to eat every 2-3 hours for the rest of your life. You'd fall asleep on your own one day. So as I nursed you throughout the night, as I sung to you while you were fussy, or as I held you after a round of shots, I'd tell myself, "I'll never get this moment back."

And now I have no regrets. Yes, it makes me a little bit sad that you don't need me for as many things anymore. It hurts just a tad that you don't love to snuggle in my arms for hours on end anymore. But overall, I'm just grateful to God for giving you to us for one whole year. I pray that he will give us many more years together.

In the past month you've learned how to do some amazing things. You can drink out of a regular cup now. Of course you still spill a lot, but you can grab the cup, get it to your mouth, and take a drink. And you do better with it than you do with a sippy cup. You can get a fork of food to your mouth as well, and you know that food goes on a fork or spoon and will put food onto the fork or spoon and then try to get it to your mouth. You still love to eat and haven't yet met a food you didn't like (well, except for maybe your birthday cake. You didn't seem to like it too much!). You're only nursing twice a day now, and you're down to one nap a day. You can stack blocks on top of each other, getting up to a tower of three. You're pretty good at walking on hills, you can full-on run, and you can climb stairs if you're holding onto someone's hand or a rail. You've even pulled yourself up into the refrigerator.

You still love peek-a-boo, and you like to hide behind a wall, curtain, blanket, or piece of furniture and then pop out when we ask, "Where's Lane?" You still love to be outside and love to finger rocks and pebbles and sticks. You don't even put them in your mouth very much anymore. You freely give us kisses and love to sit in our laps for a story, and you'll turn around and squat down to sit in our laps. You still love to be naked...you are hilarious when you're naked. Speaking of naked, you can take your diaper off already. It's a good thing you don't know how to take your clothes off yet! When mommy says, "Arms up!" for taking off your shirt you oblige, holding up your arms. You'll also throw your arms up in the air when you're really excited. It's super cute. When we ask you where your teeth are (all five of them...you got yet another one this month!) you'll chomp them together, and when we ask you where your tongue is you'll stick it out at us. We're still working on other body parts. You've got some objects in books down pat, though, like the pig or kitty or milk in one of your books...you know exactly what to point to.

You are so smart, Lane. You're so sweet. You shower us with affection and smiles and make us think that there is nobody in the world as blessed as we are. We pray for you every day, that you will continue to grow and be healthy and strong, that God would please have chosen you for his kingdom and you would come to know Jesus, and that we would get many, many more years with you. We are grateful for your first year. We want many more. We love you so, so much.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy


You're so happy when you're outside!


Unless we borrow a stroller and put you in it. Then you give us this look.


You got to take your first baths in a tub since you've been able to sit up on your own. You love to splash!


You still love to eat and try to lick things off your plate. That's how you end up with food stuck to your forehead all. the. time.


You're a pretty good sleeper now! You sleep from 7 pm to 7:15 am most nights, with one nap of 1.5-2 hours during the day.


Drinking out of a cup like a big girl!


You love to "play" now! You like to take things and hide them or bring them to us to play with you.


You're learning how to stack!


You love these crabs!


You're gorgeous, darling. Simply gorgeous.

What If?

Dear Lane,

You are so cute. And I love you so much. I can't even express it. How is it possible to love someone so much? Is it because you grew inside me for 9 1/2 months? I love you in a way that I never imagined I could, in a way so unlike the way I love your daddy. And it scares me just a bit.

Every time I start to think about the "what if's" in life, I just have to stop myself. What if something happened to you, if you got some horrible disease or sickness? What if God only lets me keep you for a couple of years? What if someone takes you away from me someday? What if..., what if..., what if... And then my heart gets to beating too fast and I start to not trust God, and I just have to make myself think of other things. Because those things...I cannot dwell on them. I can't borrow tomorrow's trouble. The "what if's" are just those, if's, and they're best not thought about.

But what if I forget?

What if I forget how when I ask you, "Where's your tongue?" that you sometimes oblige and stick your tongue out as far as it will go? Or that when I ask you "Where are your teeth?" that you look at me and then chomp your whopping 4 teeth together while grinning at me? That you want to stop and pick up everything when we're walking outside, and that you'd be perfectly content picking up rocks and dirt and pulling up plants all day long?

What if I forget how you squirm, wanting to hold anything in view while nursing, fingering it and working it up into your mouth until you realize that that's not actually what you wanted? That you want to nurse for like 30 seconds and then you stand up on the couch next to me, lean over to me with your milky mouth wide open, and give me a kiss before returning to your meal? What if I forget that sometimes you get so excited about kissing me that you chomp down on my lips? How your face contorts and you look like the world has ended when I tell you "no" about biting and you wail and burst into tears?

What if I forget how you'll sit in my lap to watch a Baby Einstein, and will occasionally lean your head back on my chest until you're looking up at me, and then flash me a big smile before returning to watching the show? What if I forget that sometimes, when you're frustrated, you bang your head on the table or on the wall or cabinets, which only makes you more upset but is oh so funny that you've just done it to yourself? What if I forget how you come to us with your arm outstretched, opening and closing your hand until we put our index finger in it and let you drag us wherever it is that you wanted to go?



What if I forget how you like to "feed" me your letter-link crabs? Or how you stuff your blanket in your mouth when you're trying to soothe yourself? What if I forget that when you're really tired and we're not at home that you squirm and squirm and cry and cry, but that if I hold you tight and really close despite your protests that you'll fall asleep in my arms? What if I forget the motion you make with your left arm after you've popped a bite of banana into your mouth, a quick "snap back" to the table for another piece?

What if I forget that you love to be naked? That you run around slapping your belly and squatting and standing and being crazy? That everything in the world is ok if you're naked? What if I forget how you follow the vacuum cleaner around, slapping it while I vacuum? What if I forget how you bounce up and down anytime music is played? How you throw your arms up in the air when you're excited? That when you're getting tired that you are so clumsy and fall all over the place? What if I forget that you like the book Counting Kisses, but that you usually only let me kiss your toes before you're going for another book? How you point the moons in Goodnight Moon, Dr. Suess' ABC Book, and My Little Word Book over and over and over again?

What if I forget how you like to lean against me in the mornings and snuggle, even if it only lasts for 10 seconds? What if I forget how you love cars that go by themselves, and that after we've sent one down the hallway that you'll run to get it and bring it back, grinning and holding it out for us to do again. What if I forget how when you want to be picked up you stand at my feet, look up at me with your arms outstretched, and try to jump up at me, all while whining? What if I forget how if we're laying down on the floor that you run over to us and whack our bellies with your hands before you plop yourself flat on our chests?

What if, Lane, I forget?

I already find myself not remembering things about you as a newborn, and it wasn't that long ago. Am I a bad mother if I forget? I don't want to forget...I don't want to. But I know I will. And once again, it makes me want to stop time so that you can't become more than 10-days-shy-of-1-year-old. Because then, Lane, I'd never forget.

But what if you keep getting cuter? What if you keep giving me new things I never want to forget? What if your next year of life is even more fun than your first year has been? What if in 8 or so months you learn how to say "I love you, mommy." These are better "what if's" to focus on. Don't you think?

I love you so much,

Mommy

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11 Months Old

Dear Lane,

Wow! Today you are 11 months old. You're almost one! It's so strange to think about this time last year: we were hoping and praying that you wouldn't be born on Christmas Day, but that you would be born before January 3rd, when your Aunt Rachel would be leaving. We had no idea that you'd wait another whole month before joining us!

Lane, in the past month you have become a joy. You were fun before, but in the past few weeks you have gotten over the stranger anxiety that overtook you about two months ago, and it has made you much more fun to be around. You no longer cry the entire time your babysitter is here, but instead you play with her and have fun. You no longer cling to mommy's legs the entire time she's cooking, and you can let her leave the room without wailing (most of the time). It's so nice to see you learning things, like that mommy will come back.

You got a new tooth this month! You got your other top tooth exactly one month after the first one popped through. You are the most fantastic teether in the whole wide world, Lane. You don't drool, you don't have bad diapers, and you're barely even fussy. You're spoiling us.

You are finally learning how to actually play with some of your toys! One of your grandmas got you a Melissa & Doug "fill and spill" picnic basket for Christmas, but we gave it to you early (as per her request). At first you were just enthralled with the lettuce, which crinkles. Now, however, you are starting to understand the concepts of fill and spill. You put all the pieces into the basket and take them all out, and you like to pull all of the velcro sandwich pieces apart. You still like to play with clothes pins too, but now you dump them all out of their storage basket and then pick them all up, putting them back into the basket and then repeating the process. You've started trying to stack the rings on your stacker, but you haven't had success yet. You also have started to like books a lot this month. You've gone through phases in which different books were your favorites: first it was Brown Bear, Brown Bear. Then it was Farm Friends. Then My Little Word Book. Now it's Dr. Suess' ABC Book. And there are lots of other books that you prefer to chew on, although you're doing better at not putting everything in your mouth.

This month you took your first long bus ride: we took a 4 1/2-hour ride to another city in Turkey to see some friends, and you did great. The bus ride didn't even start until your bedtime, but you were fantastic until the last 45 minutes when you were just so tired and it wasn't comfortable to sleep on mommy anymore. We've also started to transition you into just one nap each day, and you're doing really well with it. Now you take one 2-3 hour nap instead of two 1-hour naps. We also let you taste cow's milk for the first time, and you like it ok, but definitely not cold!

You have a few new words as well! You say "mama" and "dada" of course, but we've also heard you say "nite nite" and "nana" (for banana), although it's been awhile since we heard "nite nite." You started pointing at things too, and now you point at what you want to eat or play with if it's not in your reach. The pointing is often accompanied by a "NEH!" which we think means "that," or something similar. You are now notorious for grabbing us by our fingers, leading us into the kitchen, pointing to where the bananas are, and yelling, "NEH!" You, my child, are a banana monster. And a cheese monster. It's a good thing you also love apples and plums and vegetables!

Lane, we love you so, so much. Every day we remark how sweet you are, how cute you are, how blessed we are, and how God is so good to us to give us you. You love to be chased and tickled and you oblige when mommy holds her arms wide open, running in for a hug. You give us kisses sometimes when we ask for one making smoochy noises. You love to play outside and poke at the dirt or pull up grass and pull leaves off of plants. You examine what you've picked up or pulled up and proudly hand it over to us, waiting for us to look at it as well. You're such a little person, and mommy, at least, gets overwhelmed with God and his creativity and ingenuity in designing people and the whole growth process. Watching you grow is like taking a class on apologetics, as there is no way that someone could look at you and the way you learn and grow and determine that you were caused by chance. God created you. And he gave you to us. And for that, we are grateful.

We love you,

Mommy and Daddy


In your new froggy jammies, mommy's favorites! You now like to drag that magazine basket all around the house with you!


"Look, Lane, look!" On your first long bus ride.


Zonked.


Love that smirk! Betcha anything there's banana in your mouth!


Mommy got a birthday present, and you were fascinated with pulling the tissue paper out of the bag.


Another early Christmas present. You've enjoyed chewing on the case as much as actually watching the show (which you won't do at all unless mommy or daddy are snuggling with you)!


While this is a horrible photo, quality-wise, I love the action of it: this is exactly how you look when you're excited and going fast!


You've started pointing to your blankie and giraffe and wanting to carry them around the house with you. You love them.


You really like refrigerator magnets now!


You're becoming so independent, wanting to feed yourself, use a spoon, and we're working on helping you drink from a regular cup without our help.


Outside in the snow for the first time (when you could actually see the snow coming down).

10 Months Old

Dear Lane,

Today you are ten months old. We can't even believe it. How did you get so big?

This month you didn't really learn a whole lot of new things, but you've gotten better at all the things you already knew how to do. You're great at walking now and sometimes practically run. You've learned how to hold onto the door frame when going into or out of a room from the hallway in order to not trip on the lip on the floor between the rooms. You like to pause and squat down to look at stuff on the ground or to pick things up, and then you continue on your merry way. We can't even believe that you're walking so well.

You are a hoot, Lane. You now like to hide things under the couch. You push your toys under it and leave them for us to find later. You hide stuff behind the door in the kitchen. You hide things in the magazine basket. You love the refrigerator and when we're in the kitchen and you hear the refrigerator door open, you book it for the fridge and stand there, touching all the bottles in the door. It's hilarious. You also like to come to mommy or daddy and grab our index fingers and drag us off throughout the apartment, sometimes without a real aim in mind, it seems. You still love to play peekaboo, and you also now love kitty cats. When you see one all you want to do is get to it, and when we do get to it, you want to hit it and touch it, and you shriek excitedly.

You got another tooth this month, too! The top left one popped through about a week ago. You were not a happy camper the week it was coming through, and you were very clingy and fussy. But since it popped through you've been in a much better mood. You like for us to "get you," and we chase after you and tickle you and kiss on you when we finally get to you. Sometimes you like to "get" us, too, and you'll grab us and give us a big smile.

Lane, you love food. Yesterday for breakfast you ate a banana and two pancakes. And these were not little pancakes, either! We haven't yet found a food that you don't like, but you really want to feed yourself everything and get so mad if we don't let you. You're wearing a combination of 9-month and 12-month clothes. Most of your tops are 9-months and most of your bottoms are 12-months, although it's mostly because you need a bigger size to fit over the cloth diapers. You're still really petite so we don't know where you put all the food you eat! Some of your current favorite foods are egg yolk, cream cheese, bread (oh, how you love bread), plums, and grapes. You're still nursing three times a day, and it's now one of my favorite times of the day, as you are very snuggly and take your time, whereas it used to be a fight to get you to drink enough because you wanted to go play.

Your little personality is so cute, Lane. You so enjoy being outside with the wind blowing in your face, or looking at the birds or the trees. You love other children and get so excited that you smack their faces and pull their hair. You have quite the little temper, too, and sometimes throw little tantrums where you hit your head on the couch repeatedly and smack your hands on whatever is nearby. You're not very obedient yet when we tell you "no," and you usually look right at us and continue to touch whatever we don't want you to (usually the garbage, the toilet brush, or a wire or outlet plug). But you are still so happy and joyful and are generally really good and fun to be with. We are so blessed to have you, and we love you so much.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy


Caught in the act! You're so good at walking now!


Mommy helping you pet a kitty cat.


You're a goof: beating mommy with your toothpaste.


Loving on daddy (he's got a banana).


You love bananas!


Some rare down time: watching Baby Einstein with mommy.


You rode on a tram (and a metro and a train for that matter) for the first time this month. You liked looking out the windows on the doors.


This is new for you: throwing everything (socks included) out of your pack 'n play before falling asleep at nap time.


You're such a cutie-pie!