I WON!!!!

I won a giveaway! I can't even believe it. I'm in shock.

I get $65 to spend at CSN Online Store, which is awesome, because they have, like, everything. I can get whatever. I. want. :-)



That's ↑ me! I can't even believe it...but I won! Look here and you can see for yourself.

Aaaahhh!!! I won!

Faithful

Today was a good day.


A rare snuggly moment.

We've been here for a little over four months now and I've been praying regularly for some English-speaking friends because, let's face it, my Turkish is going to need a LOT of practice before I can handle non-English speaking friends. Last week I met someone at the park and plan on having her over for tea soon, but last week and this week have just been a bit on the crazy side so it hasn't happened yet.

Anyways. Today I took Lane to the park (I've taken her outside EVERY day this month so far...aren't you proud of me?!? But let's not discuss what time I've gotten out of bed every day yet...) and she wanted to cross through the fence and walk on the sidewalk (she likes to touch the...I don't know what they're called...metal things that the city puts up to prevent people from parking on the sidewalks?). So we were walking and then she wandered into a small courtyard and up some steps. Soon a door opened and someone said, "Come in" in English. So, Lane went that way so we went in. And guess what?

EVERYONE in that office speaks English. Because it's an IKEA purchasing office. 7ish minutes away from my front door. Near the park. And did I mention they speak English?


My (mommy) day ended with this: Lane smearing yogurt and soup in her hair so it stuck straight out. And I think she looks like a boy in this picture.

Lane and I will be going for tea tomorrow. And maybe on Friday too. And next week. And maybe the next week. And maybe by Thanksgiving I'll have some friends here. Because let's face it: I need some friends here.

Did I mention that my God is faithful? Because he is. Oh, yes, he is.

***Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement about my Mommy Regrets. I know I'm just normal, but still...it's good to be encouraged, you know?***

Mommy Regrets

Dear Lane,

Sometimes I feel like a horrible mother.

You have slept in a pack 'n play for all except the first 3 1/2 weeks of your life. You don't have a nursery with pretty paint and decorations, and you might never get one. The counted cross-stitch that I made for you in still in a box. You've never seen it. Your current bedroom often smells of cigarette smoke because the neighbors smoke and it filters into your room...but we can't move you because there's not room for your pack 'n play in the other bedrooms. So your little lungs breathe that junk every single night.

By the time you were five months old you'd slept in 12 different places. You don't have very many toys yet and are bored with the ones you do have, so you often end up playing with things like paper towel rolls and magazines and chewing on your shoes and socks. People say you'd do that anyways, but I'm not sure, since you're my first baby. You're getting a new tooth, and I lost your favorite teether, so now you gnaw on the end tables and the chair legs instead of on a teething ring, since we only have one now and it's not your favorite.

Lane, you had a diaper rash for almost two months. We put every cream we could find on it and it only went away after I finally figured out maybe you were allergic to cinnamon, even cinnamon that you would get through my milk. Just the other day you got another horrible rash, and I think it's because of another spice I ate, although I'm not sure which one. Your little body has some dry patches on it and I can't tell if it's just dry skin or if it's an allergic reaction to something. You're getting that new tooth and I had some teething tablets to help with the pain, but they got recalled so I had to throw them away, and I don't speak enough of the local language to go and buy you something else to help ease the pain.

Baby, sometimes you really, really drive me crazy. I can tell that you're in pain or frustrated, or just exhausted, but all I can think of is how annoyed with you I am and how I just want you to stop whining. I could care less about what's really bothering you: I just want you to stop crying! I'm so, so selfish.

When we have our language lessons and your babysitter comes, I sit in the kitchen with our teacher and listen to you cry after I've left you. You usually have fun after a little while, but sometimes you don't...and I just have to leave you. And sometimes you want to do things that I just can't let you do, like eat dirt and rocks or pet a kitty that's hissing at you, and you get so mad at me when I make you stop.

Lane, you will probably never have roots like your daddy and I have, because we're raising you far, far away from all of your family. You might not get to see your grandparents more than once every couple of years, if that often. It breaks my heart that you already recognize the sounds of skype and know that you'll get to see your grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins through it. You probably won't even get to meet your cousin Maddox until you're both talking.

I'm so sorry that I'm so far from perfect for you. I'm sorry when I make mistakes and when I just don't care what you want or need because I'm too focused on myself. I'm sorry that you're going to be so far from all of your extended family and will know them better through a computer screen than you will in real life. I'm sorry for the times I'll disappoint you and the times I'll be too harsh on you, expecting you to be more grown up than you are. And I'm sorry that you won't have a better role model than me as to what a mother and a woman is supposed to be. Please, look to Jesus to fulfill you and teach you and help you, because he'll do a perfect job when I only let you down.

I love you,

Mommy

My Day in Pictures

Foggy, foggy morning.


Banana time!


Pumpkin pancakes for breakfast...with chocolate chips.


One of our house guests left today. He left us these to say "thanks."


Messy bedroom.


Ahh, much better.


Diapers to be put up from yesterday.


Yesterday's laundry...


Folded!


Lane helped by eating the clothes pins.


Nap time.


Quiet time for mom.


More laundry.


I'll never tire of teeny clothes hanging on the rack.


Lunch. Poor baby has a cold and is cutting a tooth.


Trip to the store for basil and bread.


Trying to grab the grass or a rock.


The aforementioned basil.


Reading.


Dinner.


Lane's Christmas/birthday loot from all our families!


All organized into stacks according to who it's from: us, my mom, my dad and stepmom, Shannon's dad and stepmom, grandmother, and brother and sister-in-law, Shannon's mom and stepdad, and my sister and brother-in-law.


Buying some new music.


Unmake the bed...


Bed time: in my Auburn jammies! ('cause you know, they play while we sleep...)

November

How on earth is it November already? Seriously, it's almost Thanksgiving, which means it's almost Christmas, which means it's almost my birthday, which means it's almost Lane's birthday... It's insane how time flies as we get older.

I posted here about how I was looking at making some goals for myself in order to keep myself accountable for my time. I got the idea from Joy over at Priceless Gifts, and I did it in October but thought I'd keep my goals to myself for the 1st month, to see how realistic I was in setting and fulfilling them. So...I thought I would share with you all some of my November goals:

In relation to God:
1. Memorize Ephesians 4:29.
2. Read my Bible every day in accordance with my read-through-the-Bible-in-one-year plan.
3. Read "Shepherding a Child's Heart."
4. Listen to 2 online sermons.
5. Choose a Bible study plan for 2011.

In relation to my family:
1. Do something touristy once.
2. Have a date night without Lane at least once.
3. Go to the park 2 times per week as a family.


The park near our apartment.

4. Be in bed by 10:00.
5. Visit a new part of Istanbul by public transportation.
6. Take Lane outside for at least 15-20 minutes every day unless it's raining.

Personal goals:
1. Make our bed every day.
2. Try 2 new (healthy) recipes.


Pumpkin-Apple Muffins that I made today.

3. Do another practice run on Lane's birthday cake.
4. Buy myself a new article of clothing (or at least go shopping).
5. Get my booty out of bed by 6:00.
6. Write in my journal every other day (last month's goal was every day...proved to be too optimistic).

There you go, a glimpse into some of the things I'm going to be working on this month. I think that they're not too over-the-top and are attainable. I'll try to remember to let you all know how I do at accomplishing these. Last month I found that writing some goals down served to motivate me to actually try to do them.

Care to join me in making some of your own?

8 Years Ago Today

I woke up in Poland.


My apartment building in Warsaw.

I mean, I'd flown there the day before (or the two days before, depending on how you like to view leaving the States on Halloween and arriving in Europe on All Saints' Day), but this day...this day was my first whole day of living in another country.

What was I thinking?


Warsaw skyline.

I'm from a town in Alaska that boasts a whopping population of 7,000ish. Warsaw's population is, oh, a half-million times that: 1.8 million people.

This day was a reality check. I lived in Poland. I'd be there for two years.

I knew virtually nothing of the culture, of the people, and of the language. I was afraid of what this new stage of my life would look like, of who I would meet, of how I would handle being so far from my family and all that was familiar.


In Old Town, Warsaw.

But God was faithful to me. Poland became home. I learned how to navigate public transportation. I adjusted to the culture. I learned the language. And I grew to love it.


In Royal Castle Square, Old Town, Warsaw.

As I look at aspects of my life here: the eight different forms of public transportation in this city, a language which boasts "vowel harmony" yet has no "to be" verb, and the call to prayer going off five times a day, I can't help but think: maybe God will do the same for me and Istanbul.

A Giveaway!

Happy November, Readers!

My friend Amy over at Gabriel's Good Tidings is hosting a giveaway! Amy makes all sorts of neat things...I am very jealous of her skills with a sewing machine! One day, I may learn how to sew...but for now, I'm stuck admiring others' creations:


Baby boy gift set including 2 bibs, 2 burp cloths, a changing pad, and the bag.


A "firecracker" dress for the 4th of July!


My personal favorite: a carseat canopy. Oh, how I wish I had had one of these!

This week Amy is giving away some handmade reusable snack bags:


Aren't they cute?

This giveaway is open until Friday, November 5th, and is open to residents of anywhere! Head on over and enter her giveaway here, and don't forget to check out her etsy shop here!