One of Those Days

Every now and then I just have one of those days. They've been coming more frequently recently. I'm not sure what's been bringing them on. Hormones, probably. (On a side note, you gotta love being a nursing mother...you can blame a lot on hormones.) But it seems that multiple times each day I feel overwhelmed with love for my daughter.

I don't just mean moments where I think, "Wow, I love her so much." I mean moments that make my sinuses sting. Moments that I marvel at the wonder that she is and the fact that God gave her to me. Moments that it seems my heart actually aches with love. Moments that I revel in her beauty, in her joy over simple things, in her innocence, and in her unabandoned love for me. Moments that I weep with joy.

Moments like these.


"What's in there?"


Asleep with giraffe right on top of her face (and blankie in her mouth, of course).


Workin' the shape sorter.


Toting blankie down the hall, headed for the book pile.


Picking out a book.


"This one, mom, this one!"


All ready to go outside, blankie in tow.


Patiently waiting on the elevator to stop so we can get out.


Looking at the birds.


She got a big rock. She loves rocks.


Shaming mommy: every time we go to the nearby store she begs (i.e. points and makes "eh, eh" noises) for their food. They usually give her a piece of fruit: this time it was an apple. They even cut it for her.


Going for a walk with random Turk #587. Sagging pants. Freezing hands.


Gosh she loves that blankie.


Love her cutie patootie nose and pouty mouth.

It's in those moments that I can't help but think of God's love for us. If I love Lane as much as I do, so much that it makes me hurt, I can't even fathom God's love for us that he would give his Son, whom he loves even more than I love Lane, so that we could be with him.

I can't even imagine his love for us. I can't even imagine it.

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?...If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" -Matthew 7:9, 11

The Hagia Sophia

Taking on a city of 18-20 million people with a baby strapped to my back is not exactly my idea of a great time. But we decided before we moved here that we needed to be sure to do some of the touristy things while we lived here. How sad would it be to live here for a year or two and never do any of that stuff?

So a month ago it was a gorgeous day and we ventured out with some friends to Sultanahmet, which actually is the Turkish name of the Blue Mosque, but generally is referred to as the area surrounding the Blue Mosque and the Hagia Sophia.


The Hagia Sophia doesn't look like much of anything from the outside (at least not compared to surrounding architecture).

We paid our 40 lira (20 lira per person) entrance fee to get into the Hagia Sophia. And we let our breath be taken away.


The view upon entrance: the Imperial Gate.


On ground level.


The view from the upper level.

The Hagia Sophia was an Orthodox church for almost 1,100 years. When Constantinople was conquered by the Ottoman Turks, it was turned into a mosque. It remained a mosque for almost 500 years until, under the presidency of Atatürk, it was transformed into a museum.


The dome, with 40 windows at its base.


Stone columns.


So ornate!


One side of the Marble Door.

The Hagia Sophia is covered in mosaics. Practically the whole building has mosaics somewhere, although many of them are still partially covered (the Turks covered the mosaics in plaster when they transformed the church into a mosque). There were 30 million gold tiles just in the dome alone!


Mosaics.


Comnenus mosaic.


The Deësis (Christ in the center, Mary on the left, John the Baptist on the right) mosaic.


Mosaics of cherubs in the upper corners.

I, for one, do not generally enjoy museums. I don't like paying to look at all sorts of old stuff that means nothing to me. But when something is grand, when it's gorgeous, I enjoy it, even if I don't understand all the history behind it or appreciate the art or architecture for its time period.


The mihrab, indicating the direction of Mecca, is where the altar was originally.


Stained glass windows.

The Hagia Sophia is grand.

If you ever come to Istanbul, you should go. Even if you don't enjoy museums.

January Recap

This month I didn't get quite as much done as I had hoped. But due to the following facts, I'm fairly satisfied with how I did do: 1) We moved. Cue insanity. 2) I caught a knock-you-over-the-head-and-make-you-feel-like-you've-been-left-for-dead kind of a cold that lasted for a few days. Then Lane got it too. 3) Shannon was out of the country on a business trip for 5 days. 4) While he was gone I caught a stomach bug. Then Lane got it. Now Shannon has it. So...since we were out of commission for about half the month due to these things, I think I did alright.

In relation to God:
1) Memorize Psalm 1:1-2. I only memorized Psalm 1:1...I never made it to verse 2.
2) Read my Bible daily in order to finish it by the end of this year. I'm actually ahead of schedule, since I've been able to read almost every day and the plan I'm using is only a 25-days-per-month plan.
3) Spend at least 5-10 minutes each day studying and reflecting on a passage of Scripture. Nope. Didn't do this. I did it some days but not every day.
4) Listen to 1 online sermon. I did do this...I listened to a sermon from The Village Church. It actually wasn't the best and I'm not sure I learned anything, but it was a guest speaker, so maybe that's why. I think I'll stick to J.D. Greear next month.
5) Make a monthly prayer calendar. Or at least get the calendar printed, even if it's still blank. Sigh. I still haven't done this. I have a good excuse though. Our first apartment's printer needed more ink, which we didn't get until after we moved into our new apartment. Now we have ink but no paper. I need to buy some paper!
6) Finish "Shepherding a Child's Heart." I haven't finished yet, but I only have 60 pages left. That means I read about 110 pages, and I'm planning on reading a couple of chapters today.

In relation to my family:
1) Have a date night without Lane. Yup! We went to see The Tourist. It was actually pretty good. No nudity, very little bad language, good plot. I'd recommend it.
2) Take Lane outside every day for at least 15-20 minutes unless it's raining or too cold. We went outside 21 of the 31 days this month. 7 of the days we didn't go outside it was either raining or really cold. One day was the day we moved, one day I was sick, and one day I was lazy (my birthday).
3) Take a 2-day vacation to see some friends. This didn't end up happening because the hotel we were going to stay in was booked solid. We still got to see our friends, we just met them here in Istanbul when they came to do the tourist thing, but we didn't get a "vacation."
4) Do something touristy. We went to the Hagia Sophia and to see the Blue Mosque. Go us!
5) Get fully settled and unpacked in our new apartment. Yup! Fully unpacked and settled!
6) Be in bed, lights out, by 10:30. This is a never-ending battle, it seems. We were in bed by 10:30 15 nights this month. That's half...I guess that's better than last month, so it's progress.
7) Throw Lane a bang-up 1st birthday party. I think she had a great party. She had a great cake, some fun decorations (ok, it was just balloons and streamers, but she liked them), and some friends came over. All things considered, I think it went well.

Personal goals:
1) Make our bed every day. I only got our bed made a little over half of this month. Once again, I have good excuses. I didn't make it the few days right after we had moved, because what's the point when the rest of the bedroom is a mess? And I didn't make it when I was sick. Either time. Once again, what's the point in making the bed when all you're doing is crawling back in it every time you get a chance?
2) Get my pajama pants fixed. I had good intentions of getting this done, but I need someone to go with me to translate, and both times I was planning on meeting my friend to do this I ended up sick. Next month.
3) Offer Shannon a back massage every night. Eh. Didn't do so great at this, mainly due to all the other aforementioned excuses.
4) Try 1 new recipe. I made a baked chicken spaghetti. It was pretty good! I'll get a recipe up on the recipe blog after I make it again and get a picture. And I made banana pudding for the first time ever. No recipe needed, though: vanilla wafers, sliced bananas, and vanilla pudding. Layer, chill, eat. Yum.
5) Order photos for Lane's scrapbook and find someone to bring them over. Done and done! Yay!
6) Get out of bed by 6:00. Once again, the never-ending battle. To be continued. Anyone have any hints for how to get out of bed earlier? I need help!
7) Start reading the owner's manual for our new camera. Not really. I kind of did after I took video on Lane's birthday and couldn't view it on my computer. But as far as actually learning anything about how the camera actually works...yeah, not so much.

So there you go. How'd you do on your monthly goals? Check back in the next couple of days and I'll have my goals for February posted. Feel free to join me in setting goals for the month...it's a great way to actually get a few things done!

Operation Unpack (part 3)

And the unpacking is finished! Everything (that's not still in trunks/boxes, that is) is unpacked and has a place. Of the 16 pieces of luggage we brought with us, I think 9-10 are still packed. Most of them have been unpacked and repacked some, but we still have about 60% of our belongings in trunks or boxes. I can't wait to have my own place and be able to unpack completely!

I don't have any "before" pictures of our bedrooms. Let's just say that while the living room, dining room, and kitchen were clean, the mess got relegated to our bedroom. Plus, all this was in our bedroom instead of on the enclosed balcony:


Ugh. I hate that you can see all our junk right there. But alas, it's the only space available to put our boxes and trunks and suitcases. So we'll take it.

Needless to say, our bedroom looks much better without all that stuff in it!


Our bed with the quilt from Joyce on it.


The wardrobe.


Full length mirror and strange chest-of-drawers/wardrobe thingy.

I love Lane's room. It's so bright and kid-ish.


Lots of room to play, a bed for us to snuggle/nurse/read on, and...


A chest of drawers! Honestly, I'm so excited about this. You've got to understand that on this side of the world most people just have wardrobes and place their clothes in stacks inside, so to have a real chest of drawers for all of Lane's little clothes is fantastic!


All of her little trinkets and "fragile" books.


These bins are great! We can keep Lane's toys separate from this family's, and we can also get them all up off the floor. Love it.


And last but not least, the inside of the wardrobe. We keep all of Lane's cloth diapers and medicines in here.

So there you have it! The grand apartment tour! I'll spare you the bathrooms, as they're not that exciting. You've already seen that we have a (mini)tub, so that's the most exciting thing in there. I should have gotten before, during, and after pictures when our water heater got replaced, but I didn't, so let's just say that we used to have a gas water heater that was apparently older than dirt and now we have a nice, shiny, and new electric water heater. We don't get that much hot water from the electric heater (we need to wait about 30-45 minutes between showers), but we'd rather have that than what we had before, which was no hot water out of any of our sinks, and semi-hot water out of the bathtub if you found the correct "spot." So we'll deal with a limited supply of hot water gladly!

All in all, we're very happy with this new apartment. It's a bit further away from, oh, everything and everyone we know in the city, but it's temporary and it's very kind of this family to let us crash in their place for 4-5 months. We can handle it. We've dealt with much worse in our lives, that's for sure!

12 Months Old

Dear Lane,

Yesterday you turned one year old. 12 months. 365 days.

Wow.

Honestly, I cried a lot yesterday. I love you and am so proud of every milestone you reach. I love watching you master new things, like when you learned how to stack the rings on the pole of your Rock-n-Stack this month. But a small part of me is so, so sad. I asked your daddy what was wrong with me, why was I so sad that you were now one? He answered me this: "It's because if the next 17 years go as fast as this past year did, it'll seem like it's tomorrow when she's gone." Or something along those lines. But sweetie, it's true. This past year has gone so quickly. I can remember when you couldn't fall asleep outside of my arms like it was yesterday. Now I secretly hope that you're not feeling well so I have an excuse to hold you in my arms until you drift off to dreamland. I don't remember the moments immediately following your birth with extreme clarity, but I do remember the following days and weeks.

Someone once told me to cherish those early months with you. Even when I was sleep-deprived and hadn't taken a shower and had changed my clothes four times that day because you'd spit up all over me, my constant reminder to myself was that soon enough you'd be grown. You wouldn't want to eat every 2-3 hours for the rest of your life. You'd fall asleep on your own one day. So as I nursed you throughout the night, as I sung to you while you were fussy, or as I held you after a round of shots, I'd tell myself, "I'll never get this moment back."

And now I have no regrets. Yes, it makes me a little bit sad that you don't need me for as many things anymore. It hurts just a tad that you don't love to snuggle in my arms for hours on end anymore. But overall, I'm just grateful to God for giving you to us for one whole year. I pray that he will give us many more years together.

In the past month you've learned how to do some amazing things. You can drink out of a regular cup now. Of course you still spill a lot, but you can grab the cup, get it to your mouth, and take a drink. And you do better with it than you do with a sippy cup. You can get a fork of food to your mouth as well, and you know that food goes on a fork or spoon and will put food onto the fork or spoon and then try to get it to your mouth. You still love to eat and haven't yet met a food you didn't like (well, except for maybe your birthday cake. You didn't seem to like it too much!). You're only nursing twice a day now, and you're down to one nap a day. You can stack blocks on top of each other, getting up to a tower of three. You're pretty good at walking on hills, you can full-on run, and you can climb stairs if you're holding onto someone's hand or a rail. You've even pulled yourself up into the refrigerator.

You still love peek-a-boo, and you like to hide behind a wall, curtain, blanket, or piece of furniture and then pop out when we ask, "Where's Lane?" You still love to be outside and love to finger rocks and pebbles and sticks. You don't even put them in your mouth very much anymore. You freely give us kisses and love to sit in our laps for a story, and you'll turn around and squat down to sit in our laps. You still love to be naked...you are hilarious when you're naked. Speaking of naked, you can take your diaper off already. It's a good thing you don't know how to take your clothes off yet! When mommy says, "Arms up!" for taking off your shirt you oblige, holding up your arms. You'll also throw your arms up in the air when you're really excited. It's super cute. When we ask you where your teeth are (all five of them...you got yet another one this month!) you'll chomp them together, and when we ask you where your tongue is you'll stick it out at us. We're still working on other body parts. You've got some objects in books down pat, though, like the pig or kitty or milk in one of your books...you know exactly what to point to.

You are so smart, Lane. You're so sweet. You shower us with affection and smiles and make us think that there is nobody in the world as blessed as we are. We pray for you every day, that you will continue to grow and be healthy and strong, that God would please have chosen you for his kingdom and you would come to know Jesus, and that we would get many, many more years with you. We are grateful for your first year. We want many more. We love you so, so much.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy


You're so happy when you're outside!


Unless we borrow a stroller and put you in it. Then you give us this look.


You got to take your first baths in a tub since you've been able to sit up on your own. You love to splash!


You still love to eat and try to lick things off your plate. That's how you end up with food stuck to your forehead all. the. time.


You're a pretty good sleeper now! You sleep from 7 pm to 7:15 am most nights, with one nap of 1.5-2 hours during the day.


Drinking out of a cup like a big girl!


You love to "play" now! You like to take things and hide them or bring them to us to play with you.


You're learning how to stack!


You love these crabs!


You're gorgeous, darling. Simply gorgeous.

And Then She Was One

The top of her cake.


First thing this morning: a present from Papa Buck and Nona Lou.


It's a fridge farm!


Opening a present from Grandma while on skype.


Change into the birthday dress and go for a walk (with a banana in hand).


The birthday cake I made.


Watching a little Baby Beethoven while mom and dad finish party prep.


New presents.


Maracas.


Time for cake! (And, incidently, the only picture I have of her with her cake. For the rest I took video and now I can't get my computer to read it. Sigh.)


Playing with some streamers and balloons.


Lane. We love you, baby girl. Happy 1st Birthday.

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